Awesome New Asian Fusion Recipe

I've been working on it for about a week now. I think it's one of my best ever for three reasons: First, it tastes like nothing else, and it tastes wonderful. Second, it's impossible to not get right. Third, it's versatile.

• Heat three to four to five tablespoons of peanut oil in a sauté pan over medium to low heat.
• Add a good, healthy portion (like say three forkfuls) of Tianjin preserved vegetable. (If you've never heard of this stuff, you should be able to find it at your local Asian market. Warning: it's addictive.) This portion gets bigger every time, but I think four forkfuls may be the upper limit.
• Add a hefty amount of fresh ginger - like a whole thumb, including the fleshy part attached to the palm, cut into slices of approximately 200 micrometers. (That's 1/5th of a millimeter. It's easier to get thin slices of ginger if you slice WITH the grain. You don't really have to use the digital calipers, but thinner is better.)

Heat until the ingredients become fragrant. This is the base. From here there are two variations, depending on what you're trying to accomplish. If you're just making rice, then...

• Shred 1 whole fennel bulb into hearty, slaw-like pieces w/a knife, add to sauté

Or, if you're making pork chops, then...

• Add 1/2 tsp of anise seeds

If you went the fennel route, you need to cook that fennel for a few minutes until it's tender. Keep the heat no higher than medium. These ingredients can burn. If you went the anise seeds route, then you just sauté for a minute more. Either way, the next step is...

• Add 1 tsp of fresh minced garlic

Heat until garlic is cooked, like maybe 1-2 minutes, then remove everything from the pan, except for any excess oil.

The next step would be to either 1) cook your chops in the leftover oil until done, and then at the end turn up the heat to give them a nice browning, and then serve w/the mixture on top of them, or 2) fold the mixture into a heap of cooked jasmine rice.

It's really, really, really, really good. I mean really good.