Thursday, December 31, 2009

iStupid


How about more grammar?


6 comments:

skmckinn said...

"Less" chores...more Walmart shoppers.

It should be that they have to spend time vacuuming so they have less time to make babies.

What is WRONG with me? To distract you from the vaguely fascist commentary above I give you
another use for the horseless vacuum
.

Digitizdat said...

Hehe... we're elitist. Quick show of hands - who here thinks that a misplaced comma could be an indication of moral decay? This guy!

Horseless vacuum - HA!

Digitizdat said...

Oops! I mean *elitists*! OMG I must be a hethan.

Digitizdat said...

I mean heathen!! I'm surely going to die a terrible death now.

skmckinn said...

No, no--"elitist" could be an adjective. It scans okay.

Upon re-reading, though, I wish I had put a comma between "above" and "I" in my comment above. Here's my defense: I want it to sound like I'm excitedly getting the sentence out without a breath.

Misplaced commas don't bother me too much. That's a lie. They do. I just try to be careful with translating my stylistic snobbery to non-standard dialects (written or spoken). It's complicated.

I can get over "they" as a gender-neutral singular pronoun, for instance. In fact, I think I can get BEHIND it--I think I would argue for that change in the OED. But I CAN'T get over "lay" for "lie" (in the present tense.) Why not? In day-to-day usage, the change has pretty much happened. I can't let it go. I could go on about this all day. Ask Damian. He'll tell you. (And, brother, when he tells you? He will make mincemeat of any stylistic/spelling/mechanical subtleties he POSSIBLY can. And then he'll say "mmmmm...mincemeat...got mustard?")

Honestly, I have more of a problem with the product itself--the horseless vacuum, the "isuck," if you will--and others of its genre: evidence that there are too many people on the planet. Horse-drawn vacuums are fine! They give horses a job and force housebound housewives to get fresh air and exercise.

If *I* were the copy editor, I'd suggest "Fewer people, more life."

Whoa!!! Here comes the neutering argument. Ladies and gentlemen,let me redirect your attention to
a beautiful and pragmatic invention
(in contrast to the isuck).

Digitizdat said...

Awesome! Now Damian always has somewhere to stick his banana.

iSuck - of course! Why didn't I think of that!?

And I agree w/you that whenever applying a grammatical rule results in a phrase that sounds conspicuously formal, that rule has worn out its welcome. Of course, it is hard to let go when you sense aesthetics are being trampled on.